TraP Within

Oprah show was over, yet I can hear voice telling me to sleep, instead I ended up watching another show, being idle, inept, doing nothing wait to fall asleep.

While watching tv, I accidentally take a glance at the left side of my television. Wherein I can see my ownself.

I do not know how long I had been staring at her before I realized that I was, She looked so at peace yet so vulnerable.

I just sit there, look at her and try to figure out why I was never as happy when I was with anybody else.

I NEVER REALIZED UNTIL THEN HOW MUCH I MISSED HIM.

I wanted to see him in person again, so that I could look into his eyes again.
I wanted to see his unbashed smile, afterwards he will let me kiss his lips while his smiling.
I wanted to hear his voice, that lately seemed to be, I dont know why, as byutiful as a song.
I wanted to talk to him, share with him my dreams, my plans, my fears and my passions.
I wanted to tell him how badly I miss him, since the last time I saw him a day after my birthday.

And how happy I was able to spend a most wonderful night with him, aware that I had a plane to catch.

I WANTED TO TELL HIM HOW I FELT OF HIM.

But of course i did not! I could not have possibly spoiled such a magnificent moment.
It was perfect!

I managed changing myself. Being myself has not been myself for a moment. Nature can tell, boastful yet humble deep within.

I know that I no longer am the same person he used to have. I try to act the same way he know me to act around him.

At that time, nobody could convince me there's something or somebody most precious and most handsome than him.

Anything goes, I asked God and thank him, giving me this kind of experience.

I believe nature will took its course, hoping not pessimistic but optimistic.

I keep telling myself that night will not be our last time, but it might as well soon.

I can try to put on a smiling face whenever I'm with him making as if it does not kill me to know he has fallen with someone.

kaya wla ako ma post

Start na review ko medyo nakakapagod pero ok naman sya. Talagang nakakaduling sa kakabasa exclusive dating sa mga authors nang mga libr ko pero mas na aapreciate ko na basahin dahil yng mismong author nang book na meet ko in person dahil sila nag cconduct nang review.

At first ayoko sana mag review dahil nga hindi ko naman iniisip na destiny ko to maging ehem! Pero naisip ko kasi masarap maraming gagawin. Lalo na ngayon na realize ko na my buhay ako aside sa pag iisip nang isang bagay na hindi ko na sya mabago. Ma dedepres, lonely, laging praning sa kakaisip para sa iba ngayon mas na appreciate ko aking sarili. :) Heto masabi ko medyo nakukuha ko na to na phrase "you are not capable of loving someone if you are not capable of loving yourself." yeah tama hehehehehe...